Lack of Purpose

As I age and have plenty of years under my belt, I am grateful to have done some work in my younger years around what my purpose might be.

When I was 28 years old, I was a wife and mother and was developing a bronze jewelry and art business with my husband, Andy. I felt happy but also wondered if my work making bronze jewelry  and my status as Andy’s wife and Brendan’s mother was really the extent of what my life was about. I lived in a town where psychological and mystical exploration into these types of questions was offered. I chose to work with a modality called Rebirthing, where one is guided into a deep meditation and often has a conscious memory of their birth. I also chose to receive several guided meditative healings using crystals and stones laid on one’s body. Both of my guides were experienced experts, well known in our town.

I was comfortable as I lay on blankets on Elsa’s clean healing room floor. She sat beside me and led me in a protocol of breathing techniques that quickly had me in a vision state of deep relaxation.  I could feel my body and hear Elsa’s voice and was simultaneously drifting in a different place seeing inner visions and riding waves of colors and shapes.

I did remember my birth, along with many other deeply held, long forgotten memories and I did discover my life’s purpose. It wasn’t what I imagined it would be. I pictured having my purpose be a concrete direction that I would then follow with certainty and conviction.

Nope.

My purpose, I discovered, was simply to allow my life to “affect people.” I could realize my purpose in uncountable ways. I found my life was greatly enhanced and relieved as I lived my purpose in being a daughter, sister, mom, wife, jewelry maker and traveler.

As I evolved, so did my purpose. I live my purpose these days as a writer, caregiver, traveler, mom, wife, massage therapist and coach. I have witnessed friends and family finding purpose in other ways that were more specific- less broad. I have known certain types of work to be a life’s purpose such as teaching, nursing, science, music, art, athletics, and politics. I know someone who created a business that became so large that it has affected the world. It began as a grocery store and turned into the international Whole Foods market.

I know from experience that purposes in lives can change, grow, evolve.

Andy’s purpose is similar to mine. As we’ve lived our lives together, over many years, I have been privileged to watch his purpose grow and change. I’ve seen his words have an effect many people he engages with. He’s been a teacher, father, my husband, and an artist who has found ways to affect people even with Parkinson’s disease having taken his voice.

Andy’s whispered words carry weight. After Andy gently told some musician friends to “Keep practicing!”  Another friend observed, “Andy says in a two word whisper more than most people say in an hour of talking.”

Purpose doesn’t disappear because of circumstances.
Living long term with an incurable disease can make purpose trickier to believe in but it doesn’t have to make it disappear. As Andy’s caregiver, one of my jobs is to help him feel and know his purpose– even as it changes.

This is essential for anyone to be able to live in wellness- with or without a disease.

If you haven’t paid attention to your own purpose, consider diving into the question and I know you will find something valuable.