What Gives Meaning to a Life Getting Smaller?

Years ago, Andy and I sold something we called Spirit Lifters. They were small plaques for one’s wall or desk that we made with a decorative welded bronze mandala paired with a quote done in calligraphy.  One of the quotes we used was from Joseph Campbell, “Life is without meaning, you bring the meaning to it.”

I want to explore what happens when, because of a disease, someone’s life seems to grow smaller and smaller over time, until sometimes they can barely recognize themselves.

Andy, by living with Parkinson’s for 20 years, is in a situation where his very big and full life has changed into something that feels much smaller. For years, the list of what Andy could no longer do grew every week. It began with not being able to do the torch work we earned our living with and grew into a situation so hard that I am amazed now that we got through it.

That period of almost seven years included an inability to feed himself, not being able to get up out of a chair, roll over in bed, walk without help or really do much. Thankfully, Andy submitted to having brain surgery and that treatment gave him his life back. Once again- in a true medical miracle- he could again drive, walk, work out, go to the grocery store, travel and live a bigger life.

During his almost seven years of living with extreme disability, we learned that the quantity and quality of activities Andy could accomplish had nothing to do with the meaning his life had.

The activities he could take part in allowed his life to be more fun and varied, but we learned firsthand that Joseph Campbell was right, the meaning came from him. When he couldn’t do much of anything at all but remained grateful to be alive, there was meaning there. When he modeled courage and kindness to those people hired to feed him and help him move, there was more meaning shown. When he persevered while suffering and never gave up hope that his life could get better, all there was left was meaning.

Other words for meaning include significance, importance, sense and purport. When one is limited in life and the scope of life becomes smaller, sometimes-as in Andy’s case- the meaning grows.

He had his surgery ten years ago and for years was able to access a much bigger life- but Parkinson’s doesn’t stop. Over recent years, Andy has once again had to stop many activities that made his life big. He cannot talk, drive, or plan something. He no longer manages money or figures things out the way he used to be able to do.

Thankfully, we learned well the first time Parkinson’s messed with the size, quality and quantity of Andy’s life.

We don’t look for meaning in any of the multitude of things he can or cannot do.

Andy brings the meaning to his life just as we all do. Perhaps when a life grows smaller it could be an opportunity for meaning to grow bigger. The great part is that it is never too late and a life can never get too small for meaning to be discovered.