Changing Abilities

I say, “With Parkinson’s old things become new things.”

In my 30 years of life with Andy, before Parkinson’s- from age 17-47 for me- he is the one in our partnership who planned for our mutual goals. I was a willing and creative partner and he was our family’s confident leader. We embraced these roles because we were naturally inclined towards them and they allowed us to live lives we loved.

When I wanted to live in other ski areas, besides Aspen, Andy went to the Bank of Aspen to apply for a loan that allowed us to purchase a truck and camper we could make a home of and afford to live in new places. I cooperated enthusiastically and together we found our perfect camper and truck in Grand Junction, Colorado. We bought it, customized it and were able to live some winters in Telluride, Colorado and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

When our lives pointed us in the direction of becoming traveling artists, selling our work at juried art shows, Andy organized our business plan, making endless lists of art shows in all different states. He put his plan into easy access three ring binders, put the show applications into dated order, along with multiple copies of slides showcasing our work and booth. He opened a separate checking account for art show fees and prepared a bunch of self addressed stamped envelopes.  All this fit into one cupboard in our overhead cab camper and our business, Larkspur Bronze, was born.

When we learned we were becoming parents, Andy organized our art show schedule so we could visit the commune, The Farm in Summertown, Tennessee. He knew I loved the way the midwives at The Farm had had compatible working relationships with the medical doctor and rightly thought that if we went there in person, my pregnancy would be better.

Parkinson’s disease affects Andy’s brain in a way that at first muted and recently has almost eliminated his ability to initiate and plan using his executive functioning skills.

“With Parkinson’s old things become new things.”

The old ways that worked well for Andy and me to live together have changed and new ways have to be discovered. My role is now to initiate and plan adventures and also day to day life in a way that will please us both. I know Andy very well and so my guesses of what he would like- even without him being able to state goals- are pretty accurate. We’ve been able to live well and aligned with our natures over that last 20 years- from age 47-67 for me and 59-79 for Andy.

Presently, I’m planning a 10 day trip in Amsterdam for us this April. We want to visit our son, Sky. In my original plan, I thought we would go away for 3 weeks, spending time with friends in Austria, Sweden and Amsterdam. I changed that to only going to Amsterdam because I see that Andy is not as able as he used to be to adjust to new places. We are staying in a nicer apartment than we might have in earlier days, because I anticipate Andy needing the comfort and certainty of a place to rest during the day and to spend time when I might be doing something he is not as able to do. I invited our friends in Austria and Sweden to come see us in Amsterdam.

The new wave treatment for the symptoms of diminished ability to initiate and perform executive functions, is to depend on family and friends to step up and do it for you.

For me, this is an opportunity to grow and become really good at something I learned how to do from Andy.

For Andy, it’s an opportunity to be cooperative and trust that although our roles have changed, our lives can still be wonderful.