Small Things That Make a Big Difference

Parkinson’s is such a long disease…once it begins it goes on and on and slowly but surely affects every aspect of one’s life. Usually, my strategy is to find ways to keep living and doing things that Andy and I have always loved to do.

We traveled to India many times and worked at an orphanage and school.

We went to Sayulita, Mexico on a family trip with a group of wildly interesting unique people.

We bought an ocean rowing boat and camped and rowed at Catalina Island for a couple weeks at a time, over 4 years.

We lived for 6 weeks at a time, over 2 years, in England to be near Andy’s family and our daughter.

We found a home exchange in Hawaii and after Andy relearned to swim we spent time there over 2 years.

We have had many adventures and Parkinson’s goes along with us but does not dominate and life is more good than not.

The last months have gotten harder and we have to face that Andy’s brain changes are becoming more difficult to transcend. After 20 years with Parkinson’s, it is amazing that he is only starting to have any serious cognitive issues and we are grateful for that.

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I drove the 6 hour round trip to bring Andy to see his neurologist and we did errands along the way, stopping at a couple grocery stores and exchanging some shoes that I needed in a different size. Then we got to the hospital for Andy’s appointment and saw his doctor. She is always so kind and I had to tell her the symptoms that I notice in Andy’s brain that are different than they used to be. Somehow, putting words to what I have experienced was really hard. I worried that my words would hurt Andy’s feelings or somehow make him feel diminished. He told me they didn’t so perhaps my words only hurt me. I am one week into weight bearing after breaking my leg on January 30th and on the way home I realized I had walked more than I should have. When we got home I felt exhausted and spent.

Today, I see that the combination of over doing it physically and being challenged mentally and spiritually during Andy’s appointment was just plain too much.

To find my joy again, I opened our bedroom window and heard the little house finch bird family singing. I see one of the new bird parents sitting at the tippee top of the tall Juniper tree outside my window. I am taking very deep breaths as I center myself and I reread special cards I have kept from my Mom and my kids. I drank a cup of tea. I gave our dog fresh water and food. I am devoted today to small things and I know they will transform my body, mind and spirit over the course of this day.

When anyone feels down and has a difficult part of life to deal with and live through, please try turning to the small things in your life that can reset your balance and be as or more effective as a vacation or a big experience.